Oh! I am Late! Sorry! Sorry!

For 3 days, the healing workshop I was conducting got delayed by an hour because almost all the participants were late. Everyone of course had different reasons, nevertheless they were late. I have always failed to appreciate the attitude of reaching late everywhere and justifying it, whereas many people seem to live life just this way. I know people who will perpetually be late every single day and yet they will make the effort to come-up with a new reason day after day with no recognition or acceptance of the fact that it’s only the reasons that are changing and not their conduct. Their conduct stays that of being non-committal, casual & ungrateful.

I asked for guidance on this situation. I was extremely disappointed. Despite being a healer & a teacher, I also go through intense emotions which bring out my non-acceptance of certain aspects for me to grow through & this was one of them. My problem was not their being late over & over. My problem was their sheer lack of recognition that it mattered, and how this attitude had bigger impact on their lives than they could think of.

This is the message I got which I shared in the class.

“Unfortunate are those who cannot value TIME, for TIME will not value them.

Each moment is precious for it serves a purpose & letting it go in vein by justifying oneself for being absent from it, you also miss the wisdom it was meant to bring with it.

Value yourself each moment and hence value each moment, for this is the only gratitude you can carry for your existence in this mighty graceful universe!”

I did introspect why I attract such participants who live life casually and although they are expecting to make huge shifts in their deeper consciousness, they are challenged with simple routine changes that their conscious mind can do, with mere intent. The understanding I got was that I take my role too seriously. I am taking responsibility of those who have yet to learn to take responsibility of themselves. I want to believe I can give them more than what they are attracting, though that is not possible.

Mind you, these participants in their respective fields are professionals, caretakers, entrepreneurs, parents etc hence responsible people. They know how to take responsibility. However, when I wondered why they fail to reach the workshops on time, all the time, all I could understand is that one tends to take responsibility of their growth only where they believe if they do not do it, it will not happen.

For example, if I run a business and I have a meeting with a client, I know that if I do not reach the meeting on time, the deal will not happen and I understand the consequence of that will be my lack of growth. Similarly, if I am a student and I know if I reach late in my college, I will miss my lecture and the impact of that will be the lack of my growth. I know if I am a parent and I do not reach to pick my child from school on time, I will see myself as a bad parent and the consequence will be my lack of growth as a parent.

However, in the case of a healing workshop, they have already given themselves a pat on their back since taking responsibility for healing themselves is the extra that they are doing other than their normal responsibilities. It’s like the very fact that they are doing the workshop by investing time, money & effort, they have already created a sense of pride or ego for being so enlightened & ahead of others. That Spiritual Ego that they have created tells them that because they are already doing more than what they are normally expected to, its ok to do it when & how it suits their convenience.

Many people similarly reach late for work, for meetings & for personal appointments. This reflects that they are carrying a pat on their back for living, for putting up with waking up each day & taking a bath, for putting up with their jobs, their bosses, their family & so on. It’s like the very fact that I am trying to be human, is enough. The ego here is that “I am not meant to be here”, “I am more than others”, “I was not created to do what others do”, “I am doing this job or work only for the time being. My time will come”, “I deserve better” etc. These are all thought processes of people who live their own life as if it’s on lease and hence they can get away with treating it casually.

EGO is the quickest thing to be created and most difficult to be destroyed for it serves one’s denial & allows them to stay in an illusionary world of being all the good things. Additionally, when the EGO is created through spirituality, it's icing on the cake.

EGO does not value time for it fears being destroyed if one comes into complete awareness of self in this moment. It instead buys time & delays things only to ensure its own survival through this moment & next. The first step to recognising EGO & dissolving it is to acknowledge this moment for being a significant contributor to one’s growth. Once the focus stays on now, the EGO is isolated and evident. That’s when it can be dealt with. 

Kindness

When someone screamed at me with no fault of mine, instead of screaming back I gave them a glass of water, considering that maybe they are having a bad day. This is kindness!

When I saw someone without food, I shared my food with them while talking to them about their life & hardships. My intention wasn’t to demean them by giving them the food projecting it was surplus but instead was to share my food & their hardships so as to unburden both our souls. This is kindness!

When I saw my friend being insulted or mocked, neither did I participate in the mockery, nor did I defend the one who was insulted. I instead chose to empower my friend by making him realise that he was insulted because he carried some expectation of respect from others while not respecting himself. I taught him that respecting self takes one beyond anyone’s insult or mockery. This is kindness!

When I know my partner is lying to me, instead of confronting them or exposing them, I allow them to be. Once I understand why they are afraid of revealing their truth to me, I instill trust in myself & in them to face the truth. I walk with them holding their hand into their hiding & help them slowly walk towards their truth. This is kindness!

When I saw a blind man cross the road, instead of holding his hand, I walked with him placing full trust in his ability to find his way & yet knowing I can contribute when the universe wants me to. I didn’t want him to feel dependent on me & yet I didn’t want him to be hurt for being blind. I chose to become his eyes when he needs an extra pair without demeaning his current potential. This is kindness!

My child argues with me, fights with me, shows me how old, frail & outdated I am becoming. I see his struggle to survive with me, I see his need to break free, I see how tough it is for him to put-up with my old ways, I see how he is with me for he needs me. Yet, I push myself to give my best, I do my best to keep pace, I allow myself to be useful & I try my best to justify it through love. This is kindness!

My mind plays tricks with me every day, making me believe what it says is exactly what will happen today. Each day, it fails me since most of what happens isn’t what it tells me & most of what it tells me isn’t what happens. Yet, I forgive & forget each day to trust it all over again afresh each morning. This is kindness!

My destiny brings me hardships & challenges each day. I don’t usually get what I want and I don’t usually want what I get. I struggle very hard to come to a point where my life the way it is, is acceptable to me. Yet, I trust my destiny with my future & give it the power to create another lesson, another learning, another struggle for me to transcend, with grace. This is kindness!

Kindness is one’s ability to stay who they are & never allow the love inside to get tainted irrespective of their surroundings or their situation. It’s one’s ability to be anchored in love & be unreasonable about it. It is about uplifting others & self to continuously be rooted in compassion. Kindness moves & inspires people to recognise the inherent love that they carry. It allows one to go on, just on & on, like a love filled beautiful melody that fills the air with a certain peace & serenity while it lasts.

Do you react or respond?

Understand the difference between reaction & response through my latest video on youtube.

Kindly like, share & subscribe to my videos & stay tuned for more such topics being discussed. The intention is to introduce spirituality to our daily life processes as opposed to the traditional belief that spirituality disconnects one from their material life.

Can you hear what you speak?

Lately, I have been realising that it’s so difficult & yet imperative to understand the perspective of others when involved in a situation of mutual interaction. When two people are involved in a situation, both are talking from their point of view of the situation or subject. However, both are expecting the other to understand and agree to their perspective. Most arguments & disagreements happen not because people want to disagree & cause conflict but only because they fail to place the other’s perspective equally valid & rational in comparison to theirs.

The universe guides us at each stage and everyone around is a medium to us receiving guidance to what next. Communication is not a way of conveying what you have to say but also is a way of listening to the universe through the other. If one stays in recognition that they are talking or having a discussion so that they can appreciate the perspective of the universe around them through the other, they will become good listeners.

Good listeners are good learners too. I have come to realise that most people cannot listen to themselves whilst they are speaking. When there is speaking happening, there is externalisation of energy. Energy is leaving the speaker and going out to their audience. The speaker, in return for this energy is expecting appreciation, acknowledgment or at least a nod from the other, in order to stay motivated to keep draining their energy. If the audience is receptive and the speaker is talking with awareness of their perspective in mind, they will absorb the speech and in return the acknowledgement or acceptance of self they will create will gratify the speaker too. The space created within through sharing of the knowledge will be filled with new recognition of being loved & accepted.

If the listener is not receptive, or they try to interrupt, the speaker gets the signal that the knowledge they are sharing is not welcome and since it’s a part of them they are sharing, the lack of appreciation for the same offends them personally. If the knowledge that the speaker is sharing comes from deep within them, they will feel more offended, let down or disappointed with their audience.

Any communication has learning for both the speaker & the audience. The learning for the speaker is that he is using the audience & their response to understand if their knowledge of themselves or they themselves are aligned with others in their life or not. The learning for the audience is that they need to understand & imbibe the knowledge that has come their way through the speaker & use it for self-growth.

Disagreement or conflict in a communication occurs in two situations. The first is when the speaker carries an inner conflict with regards to the knowledge they are sharing. In case of a conflict inside, the natural response the universe expects is for one to introspect & resolve it within or at least keep it into their awareness. Sometimes if one is in denial of the conflict or if they are biased towards one side of the knowledge, they could be denying the presence of the other side. For example, Radha knows that Tara is her best friend. Radha also knows that deep down she feels Tara is better than her & she is jealous of Tara. Since Radha perceives herself as a nice human being, she denies this conflict in her about the kind of person she is. Her knowledge about her nature here is conflicted where on one side she thinks she is a nice & harmless person and on the other side there is a part of her that feels she is jealous & selfish. Radha wants to believe that the latter is not true. She goes on with life without allowing herself to acknowledge her jealous side. Tara soon falls in love with Harry. Harry is very loving & caring towards Tara and hence she feels very blessed. Tara now has to divide her time between her best friend Radha and Harry because she loves them both and she wants to make time to nurture both relationships giving them the respective attention & time that they deserve. Radha on the other hand starts being edgy, irritated and aloof from Radha. She still spends time with Tara and is her best friend but at a deeper level she feels even more jealous since whenever she sees Harry, she sees Tara’s life more perfect than hers. Radha is more intelligent & is the topper of the class whereas Tara is not, yet she feels less than her. Radha still does not acknowledge her inner conflict and instead allows herself to justify her position by focusing on her intelligence. One day Tara wants notes from Radha since the exams are approaching and Tara had to miss classes to ensure she could spend time with Harry so that she can make time to be with Radha whilst she is free in the evenings. Tara requests Radha to share her notes with her and that’s when they get into an argument. Radha calls Tara mean & selfish because she has been whiling away her time with her boyfriend & now she wanted to use her notes to give her competition in her field and that as per Radha was extremely mean & insensitive. Tara is shocked & hurt by this argument since all this while she had never realised that Radha carried so much poison inside her about herself.

It was Radha’s original conflict which due to being ignored & supressed was growing inside her at a rapid pace and eventually led her to lose her best friend. This experience made her realise how her belief that she was a nice human being was challenged and how the other side of this knowledge had taken a toll on her consciousness.

The second situation in which disagreement occurs is when the audience is not intending to listen. This is the situation in which the conversation is between two speakers. In this case, either is listening to the other only so that they can quickly get their chance to speak. Internally, both are wanting to let out their knowledge to prove their wisdom to the other without realising that it’s not the nature of wisdom that it will prove itself. What wants to prove itself inside is the lack of wisdom. Hence when both people are letting out their knowledge to each other, one is always catching on to the lack of the other side instead of listening to them to understand their own conflict. In this situation also, both can end up destroying their relationship as well as feel demeaned, insulted & humiliated.

It’s not that communication cannot happen when one is conflicted within. However, if one stays in awareness of their inner conflict and then communicates, they can become very open of their conflict which helps others in their life to help them. Secondly, they can communicate with the intention to listen to the other since that can give them insight into their inner conflict & help resolve it.

External communication is meant to facilitate internal communication and help gain self-knowledge. Any communication done with the lack of recognition of it being an opportunity for self-growth can lead to conflicts and loss of love & relationships.

Knock! Knock! dear GOOD LUCK! Are you in?

Lessons can be learnt in several ways and they are learnt through anything & everything we do. However, some ways we choose are difficult and others are easier.

It's important to understand that something being effortful (read difficult) & another being effortless  (read easy) are perspectives of an individual and they reflect the measure of one’s experience vs their perceived potential. There is nothing that is easy or difficult in absolute terms. Once we recognise that effortlessness is relative and has a unique meaning for each one, then what seems to be lucky for one may not carry any meaning for another. If one feels they are unlucky, it’s their non-acceptance or limitation of their potential that the bad luck represents. Eventually, everything is happening as per the divine plan so everything is in perfect order. From that perspective, what one gets or doesn’t get is a part of the divine order and fits perfectly well with the bigger plan. Going by that logic, everything is lucky since we luckily exist in this multi-dimensional energy matrix called this universe.

It is possible that one wanted to make an investment in a business venture, but they couldn’t afford it and they considered themselves unlucky since all their friends invested and they were left behind. After a few months, the investment went into losses and when all their friends were worrying over their loss, this one was realising how in fact it was their luck that saved then.

Another scenario is where one considers themselves lucky. What I understand they mean is either they get everything or almost everything they ask for or they have placed their entire attention in any one aspect of their life where they feel no matter what happens, but stability & love survives.

If one gets all that they ask for, they must have done something to deserve that. However, in my experience this universe is not only a very magical existence, it is a very intricately created web of so many permutations & combinations that what is happening now & what it will make do tomorrow cannot be envisaged.

For example, one might consider themselves to be very lucky for they got to marry the one they loved and 10 years later they could see the same marriage as bad luck. One might be very lucky to be living in a big mansion but at some point, that same mansion might become their confinement.

As per me, luck is just one’s perspective to be able to see the divine order in anything & everything. In moments one can, they feel lucky. In moments when one can’t, they feel unlucky. Seeing opportunity of a breakthrough in a breakdown is good luck & seeing opportunity of a breakdown in a breakthrough is bad luck. They are two sides of the same coin.

When one is able to develop the ability to believe or trust that in whatever they don’t like right now, there still is divine energy’s presence and this situation will be a perfect piece in the puzzle, they will transcend the concept of luck. Beyond the concept of luck lies faith & surrender. Faith is a choice when made in adverse circumstances, it transforms one’s experience of bad luck into good luck for the choice itself has reversed the direction of flow of energy from bad to good. The results manifest magically so and one feels lucky!

Vinaash Kaale, Vipreet Buddhi

Vinaash Kaale, Vipreet Buddhi

(When destruction awaits, one’s wisdom goes for a toss)

Today while I was watching TV, this scene came up in a mythological series about lord Ganesha that’s live these days. In that there were these two demons Shumbh & NiShumbh who were about to begin a way with “Devi” who represents the Divine Feminine. They were given numerous warnings by her through blood rains, the earth shaking, their feet sticking to the ground etc but in their ego that they are more powerful, they considered all that she was doing as “maaya” or “illusion” created to distract them from the war.

This scene got me thinking that in spite of the fact that she was doing stuff that they had never seen or known was possible, they could not recognise the extent of her power or “shakti”.

Their pretext of why they could not believe that she can actually challenge them, let alone defeat them was only one, that she is a mere “woman”. Though the reason why I am writing this post is not to highlight how oblivious humankind has so far remained to the strength of the feminine, it was a point worth noting. Maybe I will write about this way of thinking of the primitive times & how it was a way of learning, in another post.

I am sure all of us have encountered these instances when we later regretted not doing the right thing or not acting wisely. We often see others acting weird or making choices that very evidently show that they are leading themselves to destruction but they seem to be clueless about the same.

I have realised that when people are faced with anything that brings their deepest darkest fears to the surface, they start to slip into a sub-conscious denial. On one side they are shrinking themselves within, while on the other side they also start projecting strength. The way that strength is then derived is from the denial itself. Usually one will pick some faint belief about the situation or the person that has triggered their fear that “oh he is poor so how can he be of any harm to me”, or “she can’t even handle her own problems, I wonder how she thinks she can challenge me”, or “Oh this society is anyway corrupt so how can anyone catch me”, or “I don’t think anyone will have the courage to raise a finger on me”, or “I can buy anyone & anything so I can get away with anything”. These are just a few examples when people use their denial to create an artificial or illusionary sense of power. What they actually want to overpower is not the other person or their situation but it’s their own fear. There is a little voice that anyway keeps warning them about how they are heading towards doom.

Now had Shumbh & Nishumbh listened to that little voice in their head that was telling them that a woman who can do stuff like this must have something that they are oblivious of, and had they given some credit to the fact that she had already by then killed all of their most courageous men, their wisdom would have prevailed. However, sometimes that wisdom was meant to give way to the denial because one is destined to self-destruction. This destruction is never aimed at the body or person but the destruction was to be of that ego that says “there is nothing more powerful than me”.

It’s not that ego is a bad thing. It has a role to play and the only way to transcend is to first understand & embrace it. However, when one places their ego ahead of their being, then destruction is inevitable. When destruction is at the door, our wisdom forsakes us for it will then wait for the next opportunity for this being to gain more power over the ego, in another time, in another space!

Feminism – A very misplaced concept

Many people ask me for my idea of feminism. My first thought on being asked “what is your message for the women of…” is that why only women?

I believe men & women are created differently not because one was meant to rule & the other was meant to serve, but, solely because there are two faculties of our personality, mind or existence that co-exist and must always be in balance, so it was only natural for them to possess different characteristics. Unlike what a lot of people seem to be unaware of, we all carry both masculine & feminine energies. Our masculine side is that which interacts with the physical world or outside world. Our feminine energy is that which interacts with our inner world. This is the reason why the world has so far functioned such that naturally men took on the roles of taking care of the physical side of things & ensure physical survival, while women were responsible for nurturing and taking care of the subtle aspects like emotions & relationships.

The male or female body was merely a representation of the soul’s choice of staying more focused on the outer or the inner for the sake of its chosen lessons.

Women liberation does not mean that women start fighting men & in turn become what they have hated in men so far. Equality of sexes does not mean the sexes actually start competing with each other for each other’s respective roles. If a task needs more physical strength then if a woman does it, she will naturally be draining her energy to create that extra strength which by virtue of being a man, a male body will naturally possess. Similarly, an activity which needs more emotional awareness then a man doing it can take a toll on his energy while a woman can find it quite effortless for fulfil the respective aspect in the household or anywhere. So instead of trying to drain our energies in the need to replace or punish the other gender, if we recognise the strength of our gender and give its respective position of grace to both the genders, that will mean equality of gender.

Feminism in today’s day & age is based on an assumption that women have been supressed & oppressed for centuries. This is true, however, one has to take into account that from a spiritual perspective, a soul does not have gender. It simply means the same soul who’s experiencing suppression today as a woman could have supressed women as a man in previous lifetimes. You cannot disregard the fact that karma is a very fair & automatic system so whoever is experiencing whatever today, they have manifested that reality for a reason. The way to transform that reality isn’t to deny it or fight it but to understand & accept one’s gender & its truth fully. Then recognise the power of the other gender within so that one strikes an inner balance. It’s only an inner balance of masculine & feminine that can create a balance harmonious life for anyone and the initiation of that happens within.

True Feminism lies in the recognition of the unique contribution of femininity to this planet and valuing that contribution by embracing feminity fully. It's the belief of the feminine in her lack of power that she is considered weak & helpless. When the feminine aspect recognises it's role and how that can only be fulfilled by the qualities of the feminine, it will no more seek to become masculine or compete with the masculine for acceptance of self!