Oh! I am Late! Sorry! Sorry!

For 3 days, the healing workshop I was conducting got delayed by an hour because almost all the participants were late. Everyone of course had different reasons, nevertheless they were late. I have always failed to appreciate the attitude of reaching late everywhere and justifying it, whereas many people seem to live life just this way. I know people who will perpetually be late every single day and yet they will make the effort to come-up with a new reason day after day with no recognition or acceptance of the fact that it’s only the reasons that are changing and not their conduct. Their conduct stays that of being non-committal, casual & ungrateful.

I asked for guidance on this situation. I was extremely disappointed. Despite being a healer & a teacher, I also go through intense emotions which bring out my non-acceptance of certain aspects for me to grow through & this was one of them. My problem was not their being late over & over. My problem was their sheer lack of recognition that it mattered, and how this attitude had bigger impact on their lives than they could think of.

This is the message I got which I shared in the class.

“Unfortunate are those who cannot value TIME, for TIME will not value them.

Each moment is precious for it serves a purpose & letting it go in vein by justifying oneself for being absent from it, you also miss the wisdom it was meant to bring with it.

Value yourself each moment and hence value each moment, for this is the only gratitude you can carry for your existence in this mighty graceful universe!”

I did introspect why I attract such participants who live life casually and although they are expecting to make huge shifts in their deeper consciousness, they are challenged with simple routine changes that their conscious mind can do, with mere intent. The understanding I got was that I take my role too seriously. I am taking responsibility of those who have yet to learn to take responsibility of themselves. I want to believe I can give them more than what they are attracting, though that is not possible.

Mind you, these participants in their respective fields are professionals, caretakers, entrepreneurs, parents etc hence responsible people. They know how to take responsibility. However, when I wondered why they fail to reach the workshops on time, all the time, all I could understand is that one tends to take responsibility of their growth only where they believe if they do not do it, it will not happen.

For example, if I run a business and I have a meeting with a client, I know that if I do not reach the meeting on time, the deal will not happen and I understand the consequence of that will be my lack of growth. Similarly, if I am a student and I know if I reach late in my college, I will miss my lecture and the impact of that will be the lack of my growth. I know if I am a parent and I do not reach to pick my child from school on time, I will see myself as a bad parent and the consequence will be my lack of growth as a parent.

However, in the case of a healing workshop, they have already given themselves a pat on their back since taking responsibility for healing themselves is the extra that they are doing other than their normal responsibilities. It’s like the very fact that they are doing the workshop by investing time, money & effort, they have already created a sense of pride or ego for being so enlightened & ahead of others. That Spiritual Ego that they have created tells them that because they are already doing more than what they are normally expected to, its ok to do it when & how it suits their convenience.

Many people similarly reach late for work, for meetings & for personal appointments. This reflects that they are carrying a pat on their back for living, for putting up with waking up each day & taking a bath, for putting up with their jobs, their bosses, their family & so on. It’s like the very fact that I am trying to be human, is enough. The ego here is that “I am not meant to be here”, “I am more than others”, “I was not created to do what others do”, “I am doing this job or work only for the time being. My time will come”, “I deserve better” etc. These are all thought processes of people who live their own life as if it’s on lease and hence they can get away with treating it casually.

EGO is the quickest thing to be created and most difficult to be destroyed for it serves one’s denial & allows them to stay in an illusionary world of being all the good things. Additionally, when the EGO is created through spirituality, it's icing on the cake.

EGO does not value time for it fears being destroyed if one comes into complete awareness of self in this moment. It instead buys time & delays things only to ensure its own survival through this moment & next. The first step to recognising EGO & dissolving it is to acknowledge this moment for being a significant contributor to one’s growth. Once the focus stays on now, the EGO is isolated and evident. That’s when it can be dealt with. 

Vinaash Kaale, Vipreet Buddhi

Vinaash Kaale, Vipreet Buddhi

(When destruction awaits, one’s wisdom goes for a toss)

Today while I was watching TV, this scene came up in a mythological series about lord Ganesha that’s live these days. In that there were these two demons Shumbh & NiShumbh who were about to begin a way with “Devi” who represents the Divine Feminine. They were given numerous warnings by her through blood rains, the earth shaking, their feet sticking to the ground etc but in their ego that they are more powerful, they considered all that she was doing as “maaya” or “illusion” created to distract them from the war.

This scene got me thinking that in spite of the fact that she was doing stuff that they had never seen or known was possible, they could not recognise the extent of her power or “shakti”.

Their pretext of why they could not believe that she can actually challenge them, let alone defeat them was only one, that she is a mere “woman”. Though the reason why I am writing this post is not to highlight how oblivious humankind has so far remained to the strength of the feminine, it was a point worth noting. Maybe I will write about this way of thinking of the primitive times & how it was a way of learning, in another post.

I am sure all of us have encountered these instances when we later regretted not doing the right thing or not acting wisely. We often see others acting weird or making choices that very evidently show that they are leading themselves to destruction but they seem to be clueless about the same.

I have realised that when people are faced with anything that brings their deepest darkest fears to the surface, they start to slip into a sub-conscious denial. On one side they are shrinking themselves within, while on the other side they also start projecting strength. The way that strength is then derived is from the denial itself. Usually one will pick some faint belief about the situation or the person that has triggered their fear that “oh he is poor so how can he be of any harm to me”, or “she can’t even handle her own problems, I wonder how she thinks she can challenge me”, or “Oh this society is anyway corrupt so how can anyone catch me”, or “I don’t think anyone will have the courage to raise a finger on me”, or “I can buy anyone & anything so I can get away with anything”. These are just a few examples when people use their denial to create an artificial or illusionary sense of power. What they actually want to overpower is not the other person or their situation but it’s their own fear. There is a little voice that anyway keeps warning them about how they are heading towards doom.

Now had Shumbh & Nishumbh listened to that little voice in their head that was telling them that a woman who can do stuff like this must have something that they are oblivious of, and had they given some credit to the fact that she had already by then killed all of their most courageous men, their wisdom would have prevailed. However, sometimes that wisdom was meant to give way to the denial because one is destined to self-destruction. This destruction is never aimed at the body or person but the destruction was to be of that ego that says “there is nothing more powerful than me”.

It’s not that ego is a bad thing. It has a role to play and the only way to transcend is to first understand & embrace it. However, when one places their ego ahead of their being, then destruction is inevitable. When destruction is at the door, our wisdom forsakes us for it will then wait for the next opportunity for this being to gain more power over the ego, in another time, in another space!

SPIRITUAL EGO

I have pondered over this quite a lot that when one says “they are spiritual”, what are they actually implying? Is it that, I am above the rest because I believe I am more connected with God, or myself or the universal consciousness or what?

It’s very common these days to hear these statements saying “I am very positive”, “I only look at the positive side”, “I am spiritual that’s why I have been able to forgive” etc.

What exactly is being Spiritual? I think its living in awareness of one’s ‘Spirit’. Ideally, that should have been our natural state of existence but given that we have created a lot of stuff on the way to becoming who we are today, it is a privilege if we can stay in the awareness of being a Spirit having a human experience. Considering that all of us are ‘Spirits’ nonetheless, maybe the subtle ego that people by patting their backs for their awareness also needs to be brought to awareness.

It is natural for one to feel ‘special’ or ‘different’ when they do something that others look upto. Maybe being aware of self is one such thing which inherently every soul seeks and is a need of the hour on this planet hence it has gained popularity to the extent that doing a few courses and learning a few jargons of the so-called ‘spiritual world’ is good enough for anyone to start commanding more attention from their peers.

Is it true? Do we actually become special if we live in awareness of self? Well, I think the most benefit out of our awareness comes to ourselves. It helps us stay grounded and empowered to deal with our life situations & relationships. It’s not that spiritual people can’t make mistakes or feel negative emotions, but they stand a better chance at handling their experience with grace if they live in awareness of their learning through the adverse experience.

What a spiritual person can give to others is not really for them to decide. The sun did not decide it will give light to earth and not to Pluto. Let what others receive be the prerogative of the receiver. Spirituality is meant to allow one to be themselves without the need to be externally followed or appraised since the sun doesn’t bother if any external light is falling on it or not. If one eventually wants to use the recognition & acknowledgment of others as their light then the whole purpose of being spiritual is really lost.

Spirituality is all about loving self & others. Lets only stay in love & allow love. Seeking more than that is an Ego that blocks the light of the Spirit within!