Corona: An alternate perspective

It is a fact that about 38 trillion bacterias and 380 trillion viruses already live inside our body. Corona virus is a pathogen, the kinds that are believed to be attacking us. From what I have understood about it, is that it is also a virus, that can live / survive only inside a living organism. However, since its an aggressive being, the way it behaves in the body becomes so overwhelming that the body starts to feel attacked. Hence the immune system gets into a fighting mode because it wants to throw out this attacker. However, the virus itself just wants to live or co-habit. Its not attacking, its just this guest who wants to get comfortable in your home and make it its own home.

However, we fear it because we see it as the one who has attacked our comfort zone. We have a mental, emotional and comfort zone, the essence of which is encapsulated in the word ‘home’. So within our body, the virus is trying to create home for itself whilst our immune system wants to kill it and protect its home.

If you think deeply, what is another way to deal with this virus? Most logically, the answer I feel is to ‘accommodate’ it within ourselves. Viruses are known to mutate themselves into milder versions of themselves in many cases. This theory makes me wonder, what if we become less defensive to protect our current identity? What if we allow ourselves to be thrown into a little discomfort? What if we let go of the idea of a well chalked out life? What if we embrace and accept strangers and welcome them to our homes? What if we open our hearts to a bit of unconditional love?

If this can be done, as a healer, I feel our immune system will not have to fight the virus but in fact the virus will mutate itself to stay in our bodies for as long as it is comfortable and leave when its role of pushing us to our new sense of being is done. 

I watched a video by Sadhguru that initiated this thought process and I further researched to see this video that finally gave me a sense of direction regarding this concept. 

I know many people will not agree to me. I am not a scientist nor a medical professional so some of my stuff may not be medically accurate but I am a healer who believes in the power of love that each one of us holds within. I sure home we can use this power now, more than ever to heal ourselves of this virus’s negative impacts. 

https://www.instagram.com/tv/B-KUwTXAPkb/?igshid=195kl4m1dpebw

Sadhguru’s video - https://www.instagram.com/tv/B-KUwTXAPkb/?igshid=1y2bt9x3edpyp

How the Jammu & Kashmir crisis reveals our deepest prejudices

Ever since the current government decided to remove the two sections and declare Jammu & Kashmir and Ladakh as union territories, there seems to so much uproar about how it is so right, or it is so wrong.

Without judging either side of the story, my point is, in the last 70 odd years, the situation of Kashmir has naturally only worsened. Whilst the people of Kashmir were exploited on the name of religion and common interests, they were the ones suffering. We were all fine with our lives going along at a fast pace with our children studying what they want to in India or abroad. We have seen our cities coming up with new flyovers, infrastructure, malls, employment opportunities, FDI and so much more. It didn’t take too much for us to see Kashmir as a sore point in our version of India’s map and forget it to get on with our lives. Most people who are now either celebrating or objecting are those who had nothing to do with Jammu & Kashmir whatsoever, before this step was taken.

Then why is suddenly Kashmir everyone’s favourite topic now? Not because we have suddenly started caring so much about the people there. No that’s not the case however many of us would like to believe so. So, what’s the answer? It’s simple. We love to judge and events like these are perfect opportunities to judge under the garb of supporting someone or opposing someone.

Have you ever noticed how much more engaging emotions like judgment, blame, anger, resentment etc bring to our life and how peace and love become too boring to live through constantly? Even though as an evolving species we have realised that negative emotions do not take us where we belong and we would rather stay in peace and harmony within, but are we still not so easily tempted to judge, blame, fear and prove our points whenever an opportunity arrives?

The truth is that the Kashmir valley could stay in the state that it is or even worsen had our bilateral peace talks and other stuff that has been done over the years would have continued. The valley’s issues are too complicated and any conflict when left unresolved for several decades, layers and layers of conflicts get piled on. In that pile, trying to find the real issue is a waste since everything in that pile is by then the issue. It’s a big web. The only way to resolve it then is to move forward out of the pile somehow and then collect the reminiscent pieces to understand and resolve them one by one. Movement in any direction is better than staying stuck hoping for the stuckedness to vanish one day.

Whenever a big change happens, it will mean rearrangement of a lot of things. A lot of people will be pushed out of their comfort zones, a lot will resist the new, however many will embrace it too. A change of this magnitude couldn’t have happened through approval of all or by making everyone happy. Thus, I think shifting the focus to moving forward in whatever direction that looked like the right one was a wise choice. The question of who’s choice it was, I think it might look like it was one person’s choice but finally, all choices are the collective outcome of those who’s fates are attached to that choice. By virtue of choosing a government with an absolute majority, we have chosen and trusted it to make choices on our behalf in a way that they deem the best. I think if we elect someone, we ought to place this much trust in our choice of choosing them.

Those who don’t like BJP will disagree because BJP took this decision, those who fear losing democracy will believe that’s where we are headed, those who love Modi will without even understanding why they are supporting him will become his spokesperson, those who carry biases in their hearts based on religion will fear for their religious autonomy, the one who’s jealous of the special privileges of Kashmir will be happy they lost them, those who are always worried about their future will find themselves very concerned about the future of the valley too and so on.

It’s ingrained in our psyche to justify a current non-acceptance by the way of seeing it bring a dark and grim future. The future, people, hasn’t been created yet. No one can see it or predict it. Though what we can see as the future is what is unacceptable to us now. I am sure when these sections were applied on the state of Jammy & Kashmir, the future people saw of the valley, including its residents was bright and prosperous. However, the current situation reveals how wrong that hope was. So how the future will pan out to be will be seen only in the future. However, to reach that future, it is imperative for us to move forward in this moment and embrace every experience believing there is a far bigger the consciousness of Kashmir, this country and this planet that are choosing these experiences which we may or may not agree to now.

I feel if we understand our personal reasons for agreeing or disagreeing with this decision, it will give us deep insight into our own inherent stereotypes, prejudices and fears. If each one can do this, this event can truly serve to bring a huge consciousness shift within us and hence within the masses. That’s truly going to be a resolution when this experience makes us more inclusive, tolerant, loving and compassionate with even those whom we disagree with.

Emotional Intelligence

A woman I know allowed herself to get abused by her husband, only so that she could prove to her parents that she was an abiding daughter who knew how to ‘compromise’ and ‘sacrifice’. Another man I know has been accepting being controlled and dominated by his wife, only because if he doesn’t put up with her way of doing things, she starts to shout and scream at not only him but also his old parents who live with him. Another couple I witnessed, who are in marital disharmony for a long time and they spend more time being depressed about their life or fighting with each other, than they do with their children and yet they think they are doing this for their children.

We have been brought up in a society which sees stability, happiness and bliss in marriage or rather marriage as the basis of these experiences. If one goes back in the evolutionary process, it becomes evident that marriage is a concept that evolved with time, mostly to ensure that women do not become prey to several men due to the higher sexual needs of the masculine and hence one man can take ownership of the woman where he is allowed to satisfy his needs through her, she can also experience herself through him and they both form a unit that another third person cannot permeate. Another purpose this concept served was procreation which was natural and yet there was a need for someone to take the responsibility of the infant, so it was best left to every unit to have their own infants, protect them, nourish them and then allow them to become ready for procreation.

Looking at from a third person perspective, what was the unit getting by taking care of the infants that were born to them? They demanded time, money, attention and a lot of effort. They even many times became an interference in the personal space of the couple. Yet, people went on pro-creating for two reasons. The first was there was identity that got attached to who I am, and that identification as DNA was passed over to the next generation so they further strengthened the identity by extending the name, identity, legacy, whatever one might choose to believe. Coming from a world of no order, Identity served as a great identifier of one’s uniqueness, making them something from nothing.

This identity was that of the couple but since the man was the stronger one, and the woman needed the man to protect her and take care of her whilst she took care of her womb and nurturing the younger ones, it was easy for the man to claim the identity as his own. Since the woman was physically weak and needed her man to be strong, she unknowingly contributed to allowing him to believe in him being more even at the cost of her own self being perceived as less. This perceived weakness gave the woman the right to cry on the shoulders of her man. He, however, was to protect himself from others and protect his family too. He couldn’t cry, even if he was scared, he couldn’t accept his fear because he was expected to be strong. He was meant to succeed since now his failure would also ruin so many other lives. Hence, he slipped into denial. He started to convince himself that he is strong, that weakness is not his thing, that he cannot cry, that he can deal with anything and everything. Herds of men started to reiterate this to each other since internally all of them were struggling with their inherent fears of survival and yet they had to project strength. Emotions signified weakness and vulnerability. Thus, the one who could deny his emotions the most became the strongest man.

Emotions cannot be suppressed and if they are, eventually they do reveal themselves as diseases and other physical issues. Both genders have suffered in this evolutionary process because both carried an emotional body within them that was either suppressed or overloaded.

Our education system teaches us everything but nothing about emotional well-being. Each new generation to an extent gets trapped in the fears and expectations of the previous, because whilst we were all growing and prospering physically and mentally, our emotional side was considered a lack that was dealt with mostly with the intent to get rid of the emotions as fast as possible. Our inherent definition of ‘Happiness’ is lack of unhappiness, sadness and misery. We never learned to develop the ability to be happy in whatever we have. We instead decided that we can create happiness by eradicating sadness and misery, even if it means cutting off from people, relationships, situations, places and maybe ourselves.

We are so involved in teaching our children about their strengths and enhancing them that we forgot to help them identify and gracefully accept their weaknesses. We instead condemned them, compared them and whipped them for anything that was less than perfect for that reminded us of our own imperfections that we have so skillfully suppressed and denied.

Marriage or Pro-creation both are ways for us to understand our inherent power to love and create more love. They are beautiful expressions of our limitless being which experiences its limitlessness through the infinite emotions that we go through. It is more a need than ever that we develop emotional intelligence, which isn’t about “managing” emotions but rather about plain simple acceptance of them. We need to learn and teach that it’s ok to fail, it’s ok if a relationship isn’t working out, it’s ok if your child isn’t perfect, it’s ok if your parenting isn’t perfect, it’s ok if you don’t love your partner, it’s ok if you feel vulnerable and fragile. Putting the burden of our denial of emotions and need to project strength is taking a toll on the marriage, on our children, on the society and hence there is a growing projection of fakeness where on social media everything looks hunky-dory, but the reality is grim and painful.

Let’s allow ourselves unconditional acceptance of ourselves. Most things that are bothering us constantly in our minds are things that just need us to say “What if this is so…what if I have failed…what if it didn’t work out how I thought it would…what if I didn’t get it today…what if I will have to walk on a different path…what if I am sad…what if I feel lonely today…”

Clown Wisdom

Today I think of clowns. They are the funniest people who make us laugh, yet there are novels and movies that projected a clown as mysterious and evil.

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I have always felt scared of clowns more than I enjoyed them, which is something I noticed today when I accidentally came across a picture of a clown on the internet. In my growing up years, I read Stephen King's IT which was later in my teenage years adapted into a TV series and then into a motion picture. It was the story of how hell broke loose on a bunch of kids due to the evil intentions of the clown. I actually don't even fully remember the story or just remember some mixed version from the book and TV serial.

Today when I think about it, I realised the thing that scared me about the clown being the evil character, more than if any normal person would have been the Villian was that I couldn't see his face. His face was unrecognizable. The clown revealed to me what I cannot see and yet is evil. What you can see, to an extent it feels like you can control since you can also see it's boundaries. By seeing it's boundaries, one can define their own boundaries(read limitations) and provision to counter what doesn't seem to be within the scope of their abilities. 

The clown, however, is mysterious since his face cannot be recognised, he could be anyone, he seems to be limitless in his ability to think, feel and become for he can mimic people, play different emotions and jump from one state of being to another within no time. He is thus unpredictable and can bring upon the experience of the unknown in way that one can be left helpless not having enough provisions to counter, stop or soften their experience.

If we are prepared to face whatever is within with grace and acceptance then having a clown around isn't such a bad idea. They can be entertaining. However, most of us fear what they might reveal hence keep them away for they challenge our trust in our own wisdom.

Art by an unknown artist

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100 Inspiring Authors of India

Spending a beautiful sparkly evening in the city with the richest and oldest Cultural and Literary History amongst some of the most inspiring authors of India, it was an experience to relish. The hall was full of writers, authors, journalists, literary enthusiasts who were excited to witness the extravagant upholstery of creative intelligence being revealed by the Indian Awaz Team. There also were some old parents and young children who were curious to see their loved ones being felicitated for their contribution to transforming life of several through the magic of their pen.

I was overwhelmed to be selected  as one of the inspiring authors and what better honour can an author get when they are told that their work has inspired people to see their lives in a new light. The event became more interesting because my friend Nupur Sandhu was also awarded for her literary contribution.

I had never imagined that an event like this could become such a source of inspiration, not only for my life but my writing too. There was so much to learn about people writing in the field of Sci-fi romantic fiction, Cyber Law, Psychology, The art of teaching, Marriage, Parenting and so much more. It was enlightening to hear profound poetry from some authors who graced the dias with an interesting sher or nazm. The whole amalgamation of cultures, traditions, thought processes and writing styles brought so much to the table for everyone to learn from and imbibe in their work.

I am glad I made it to Kolkata since the venue and the beautiful team was cherry on the cake. Sharing some pictures from the event and hope these awards grow leaps and bounds by giving opportunity to more authors & writers to present and get acknowledged for their work.

7 points that define the role of a teacher

I come across this often, either in the form of a request to define the role of a teacher or in the form of students wanting to define my role as a teacher. I just decided to understand this concept as I share my perspective on it. This understanding has developed over several years in me because I have worked on myself a lot both as a teacher as well as a student and I think I am clear on this one for now.

1. A teacher is whom you have chosen to learn from. You need to be very clear about this one. You have NOT chosen to teach your teacher. Your teacher similarly has NOT chosen to learn from you. That is not the choice your energies made. You only chose to learn from them. If the teacher learns something from you or not, that must be left at the teacher’s end and that isn’t going to change anything for you. If you get busy trying to teach, it’s only your learning that won’t happen. The teacher has his / her own teachers designated from where they will learn. So, FOCUS on learning and not on teaching.
2. A teacher who seems to refuse what you want them to learn, is not a bad teacher. They are just clear about their role. You actually will never know their lesson. They may not be learning what you think they should be learning but they will be learning something else from your experience but that can’t be seen by you since that’s on the other side of the fence. The very reason you chose them as a teacher was that they hold a perspective higher than yours which you need to learn to align with. For you to learn from them, they see your bigger picture. Accept it. Do not create ego here. Just accept it.
3. A teacher will trigger you, will challenge you, will squeeze you to show you what’s coming out. If lemon juice is coming out, it is made evident to you that you are the lemon. So, when you are squeezed and anger, jealousy, comparison and all sorts of shit comes out, know there is heaps more inside. The teacher is efficient, for they could squeeze you to show you your truth.
4. Never compare one teacher with another for they don’t have the same roles to play. You chose to learn physics and maths both. Comparing two teachers is like comparing physics and maths. No matter what you do, both are inside, and the comparison doesn’t save you from yourself. Certainly not. You will still need to learn both. Today or tomorrow…or whenever!
5. The teacher you manifest is always the right one. You attract the juicer which can squeeze you hard enough to bring out enough juice. A softer juicer maybe would have made you feel better about yourself but would have left you with all the shit inside.
6. Always respect the guidance received through whom you have chosen as a teacher, whether you asked for it or it just happened. You chose the lesson, and the teacher allows it to come through you when you are ready.
7. The role of a teacher is in their consciousness. A good teacher will never try to be fair or just or nice to students. They would just be who they are. Their consciousness of their role will derive the appropriate response for the student, which they have chosen to learn from. If the student experiences the teacher was unfair, unjust, arrogant etc, that’s their juice and they need to deal with it. The roles do not get reversed.

These points do not mean the teacher doesn’t learn, but their learning is in their consciousness of being a seeker and that does not overlap the role of a teacher at any repoint. So, it’s best for a student to trust that the fact that they chose to be the student, the teacher will have learning to offer them as long as they are willing to receive.

The student who wants to teach their teacher will never grow in either direction, neither as a teacher nor as a student. If you want your teacher to learn from you, let them be inspired by your humility and ability to learn rather than your ability to judge.  

When someone comes to me as a student, I want them to experience themselves for all that they are, that’s how I learned about myself. Saving yourself from your shit doesn’t work. You might carry a good feeling about yourself, but you wouldn’t grow. Allowing your lesson is enough to learn from any teacher. They will just become a channel to reveal what you chose to teach yourself through them.

Most of those who are in denial of them being those lemons will want to abandon their teachers by when they reach this line. If you reached this point in the acceptance of everything I have said, then congratulations, you are a good learner and your teacher has taught you well! 

Don’t look for the ideal teacher. Become a student instead 💖

Oh! I am Late! Sorry! Sorry!

For 3 days, the healing workshop I was conducting got delayed by an hour because almost all the participants were late. Everyone of course had different reasons, nevertheless they were late. I have always failed to appreciate the attitude of reaching late everywhere and justifying it, whereas many people seem to live life just this way. I know people who will perpetually be late every single day and yet they will make the effort to come-up with a new reason day after day with no recognition or acceptance of the fact that it’s only the reasons that are changing and not their conduct. Their conduct stays that of being non-committal, casual & ungrateful.

I asked for guidance on this situation. I was extremely disappointed. Despite being a healer & a teacher, I also go through intense emotions which bring out my non-acceptance of certain aspects for me to grow through & this was one of them. My problem was not their being late over & over. My problem was their sheer lack of recognition that it mattered, and how this attitude had bigger impact on their lives than they could think of.

This is the message I got which I shared in the class.

“Unfortunate are those who cannot value TIME, for TIME will not value them.

Each moment is precious for it serves a purpose & letting it go in vein by justifying oneself for being absent from it, you also miss the wisdom it was meant to bring with it.

Value yourself each moment and hence value each moment, for this is the only gratitude you can carry for your existence in this mighty graceful universe!”

I did introspect why I attract such participants who live life casually and although they are expecting to make huge shifts in their deeper consciousness, they are challenged with simple routine changes that their conscious mind can do, with mere intent. The understanding I got was that I take my role too seriously. I am taking responsibility of those who have yet to learn to take responsibility of themselves. I want to believe I can give them more than what they are attracting, though that is not possible.

Mind you, these participants in their respective fields are professionals, caretakers, entrepreneurs, parents etc hence responsible people. They know how to take responsibility. However, when I wondered why they fail to reach the workshops on time, all the time, all I could understand is that one tends to take responsibility of their growth only where they believe if they do not do it, it will not happen.

For example, if I run a business and I have a meeting with a client, I know that if I do not reach the meeting on time, the deal will not happen and I understand the consequence of that will be my lack of growth. Similarly, if I am a student and I know if I reach late in my college, I will miss my lecture and the impact of that will be the lack of my growth. I know if I am a parent and I do not reach to pick my child from school on time, I will see myself as a bad parent and the consequence will be my lack of growth as a parent.

However, in the case of a healing workshop, they have already given themselves a pat on their back since taking responsibility for healing themselves is the extra that they are doing other than their normal responsibilities. It’s like the very fact that they are doing the workshop by investing time, money & effort, they have already created a sense of pride or ego for being so enlightened & ahead of others. That Spiritual Ego that they have created tells them that because they are already doing more than what they are normally expected to, its ok to do it when & how it suits their convenience.

Many people similarly reach late for work, for meetings & for personal appointments. This reflects that they are carrying a pat on their back for living, for putting up with waking up each day & taking a bath, for putting up with their jobs, their bosses, their family & so on. It’s like the very fact that I am trying to be human, is enough. The ego here is that “I am not meant to be here”, “I am more than others”, “I was not created to do what others do”, “I am doing this job or work only for the time being. My time will come”, “I deserve better” etc. These are all thought processes of people who live their own life as if it’s on lease and hence they can get away with treating it casually.

EGO is the quickest thing to be created and most difficult to be destroyed for it serves one’s denial & allows them to stay in an illusionary world of being all the good things. Additionally, when the EGO is created through spirituality, it's icing on the cake.

EGO does not value time for it fears being destroyed if one comes into complete awareness of self in this moment. It instead buys time & delays things only to ensure its own survival through this moment & next. The first step to recognising EGO & dissolving it is to acknowledge this moment for being a significant contributor to one’s growth. Once the focus stays on now, the EGO is isolated and evident. That’s when it can be dealt with. 

Kindness

When someone screamed at me with no fault of mine, instead of screaming back I gave them a glass of water, considering that maybe they are having a bad day. This is kindness!

When I saw someone without food, I shared my food with them while talking to them about their life & hardships. My intention wasn’t to demean them by giving them the food projecting it was surplus but instead was to share my food & their hardships so as to unburden both our souls. This is kindness!

When I saw my friend being insulted or mocked, neither did I participate in the mockery, nor did I defend the one who was insulted. I instead chose to empower my friend by making him realise that he was insulted because he carried some expectation of respect from others while not respecting himself. I taught him that respecting self takes one beyond anyone’s insult or mockery. This is kindness!

When I know my partner is lying to me, instead of confronting them or exposing them, I allow them to be. Once I understand why they are afraid of revealing their truth to me, I instill trust in myself & in them to face the truth. I walk with them holding their hand into their hiding & help them slowly walk towards their truth. This is kindness!

When I saw a blind man cross the road, instead of holding his hand, I walked with him placing full trust in his ability to find his way & yet knowing I can contribute when the universe wants me to. I didn’t want him to feel dependent on me & yet I didn’t want him to be hurt for being blind. I chose to become his eyes when he needs an extra pair without demeaning his current potential. This is kindness!

My child argues with me, fights with me, shows me how old, frail & outdated I am becoming. I see his struggle to survive with me, I see his need to break free, I see how tough it is for him to put-up with my old ways, I see how he is with me for he needs me. Yet, I push myself to give my best, I do my best to keep pace, I allow myself to be useful & I try my best to justify it through love. This is kindness!

My mind plays tricks with me every day, making me believe what it says is exactly what will happen today. Each day, it fails me since most of what happens isn’t what it tells me & most of what it tells me isn’t what happens. Yet, I forgive & forget each day to trust it all over again afresh each morning. This is kindness!

My destiny brings me hardships & challenges each day. I don’t usually get what I want and I don’t usually want what I get. I struggle very hard to come to a point where my life the way it is, is acceptable to me. Yet, I trust my destiny with my future & give it the power to create another lesson, another learning, another struggle for me to transcend, with grace. This is kindness!

Kindness is one’s ability to stay who they are & never allow the love inside to get tainted irrespective of their surroundings or their situation. It’s one’s ability to be anchored in love & be unreasonable about it. It is about uplifting others & self to continuously be rooted in compassion. Kindness moves & inspires people to recognise the inherent love that they carry. It allows one to go on, just on & on, like a love filled beautiful melody that fills the air with a certain peace & serenity while it lasts.

Do you react or respond?

Understand the difference between reaction & response through my latest video on youtube.

Kindly like, share & subscribe to my videos & stay tuned for more such topics being discussed. The intention is to introduce spirituality to our daily life processes as opposed to the traditional belief that spirituality disconnects one from their material life.

Can you hear what you speak?

Lately, I have been realising that it’s so difficult & yet imperative to understand the perspective of others when involved in a situation of mutual interaction. When two people are involved in a situation, both are talking from their point of view of the situation or subject. However, both are expecting the other to understand and agree to their perspective. Most arguments & disagreements happen not because people want to disagree & cause conflict but only because they fail to place the other’s perspective equally valid & rational in comparison to theirs.

The universe guides us at each stage and everyone around is a medium to us receiving guidance to what next. Communication is not a way of conveying what you have to say but also is a way of listening to the universe through the other. If one stays in recognition that they are talking or having a discussion so that they can appreciate the perspective of the universe around them through the other, they will become good listeners.

Good listeners are good learners too. I have come to realise that most people cannot listen to themselves whilst they are speaking. When there is speaking happening, there is externalisation of energy. Energy is leaving the speaker and going out to their audience. The speaker, in return for this energy is expecting appreciation, acknowledgment or at least a nod from the other, in order to stay motivated to keep draining their energy. If the audience is receptive and the speaker is talking with awareness of their perspective in mind, they will absorb the speech and in return the acknowledgement or acceptance of self they will create will gratify the speaker too. The space created within through sharing of the knowledge will be filled with new recognition of being loved & accepted.

If the listener is not receptive, or they try to interrupt, the speaker gets the signal that the knowledge they are sharing is not welcome and since it’s a part of them they are sharing, the lack of appreciation for the same offends them personally. If the knowledge that the speaker is sharing comes from deep within them, they will feel more offended, let down or disappointed with their audience.

Any communication has learning for both the speaker & the audience. The learning for the speaker is that he is using the audience & their response to understand if their knowledge of themselves or they themselves are aligned with others in their life or not. The learning for the audience is that they need to understand & imbibe the knowledge that has come their way through the speaker & use it for self-growth.

Disagreement or conflict in a communication occurs in two situations. The first is when the speaker carries an inner conflict with regards to the knowledge they are sharing. In case of a conflict inside, the natural response the universe expects is for one to introspect & resolve it within or at least keep it into their awareness. Sometimes if one is in denial of the conflict or if they are biased towards one side of the knowledge, they could be denying the presence of the other side. For example, Radha knows that Tara is her best friend. Radha also knows that deep down she feels Tara is better than her & she is jealous of Tara. Since Radha perceives herself as a nice human being, she denies this conflict in her about the kind of person she is. Her knowledge about her nature here is conflicted where on one side she thinks she is a nice & harmless person and on the other side there is a part of her that feels she is jealous & selfish. Radha wants to believe that the latter is not true. She goes on with life without allowing herself to acknowledge her jealous side. Tara soon falls in love with Harry. Harry is very loving & caring towards Tara and hence she feels very blessed. Tara now has to divide her time between her best friend Radha and Harry because she loves them both and she wants to make time to nurture both relationships giving them the respective attention & time that they deserve. Radha on the other hand starts being edgy, irritated and aloof from Radha. She still spends time with Tara and is her best friend but at a deeper level she feels even more jealous since whenever she sees Harry, she sees Tara’s life more perfect than hers. Radha is more intelligent & is the topper of the class whereas Tara is not, yet she feels less than her. Radha still does not acknowledge her inner conflict and instead allows herself to justify her position by focusing on her intelligence. One day Tara wants notes from Radha since the exams are approaching and Tara had to miss classes to ensure she could spend time with Harry so that she can make time to be with Radha whilst she is free in the evenings. Tara requests Radha to share her notes with her and that’s when they get into an argument. Radha calls Tara mean & selfish because she has been whiling away her time with her boyfriend & now she wanted to use her notes to give her competition in her field and that as per Radha was extremely mean & insensitive. Tara is shocked & hurt by this argument since all this while she had never realised that Radha carried so much poison inside her about herself.

It was Radha’s original conflict which due to being ignored & supressed was growing inside her at a rapid pace and eventually led her to lose her best friend. This experience made her realise how her belief that she was a nice human being was challenged and how the other side of this knowledge had taken a toll on her consciousness.

The second situation in which disagreement occurs is when the audience is not intending to listen. This is the situation in which the conversation is between two speakers. In this case, either is listening to the other only so that they can quickly get their chance to speak. Internally, both are wanting to let out their knowledge to prove their wisdom to the other without realising that it’s not the nature of wisdom that it will prove itself. What wants to prove itself inside is the lack of wisdom. Hence when both people are letting out their knowledge to each other, one is always catching on to the lack of the other side instead of listening to them to understand their own conflict. In this situation also, both can end up destroying their relationship as well as feel demeaned, insulted & humiliated.

It’s not that communication cannot happen when one is conflicted within. However, if one stays in awareness of their inner conflict and then communicates, they can become very open of their conflict which helps others in their life to help them. Secondly, they can communicate with the intention to listen to the other since that can give them insight into their inner conflict & help resolve it.

External communication is meant to facilitate internal communication and help gain self-knowledge. Any communication done with the lack of recognition of it being an opportunity for self-growth can lead to conflicts and loss of love & relationships.

Knock! Knock! dear GOOD LUCK! Are you in?

Lessons can be learnt in several ways and they are learnt through anything & everything we do. However, some ways we choose are difficult and others are easier.

It's important to understand that something being effortful (read difficult) & another being effortless  (read easy) are perspectives of an individual and they reflect the measure of one’s experience vs their perceived potential. There is nothing that is easy or difficult in absolute terms. Once we recognise that effortlessness is relative and has a unique meaning for each one, then what seems to be lucky for one may not carry any meaning for another. If one feels they are unlucky, it’s their non-acceptance or limitation of their potential that the bad luck represents. Eventually, everything is happening as per the divine plan so everything is in perfect order. From that perspective, what one gets or doesn’t get is a part of the divine order and fits perfectly well with the bigger plan. Going by that logic, everything is lucky since we luckily exist in this multi-dimensional energy matrix called this universe.

It is possible that one wanted to make an investment in a business venture, but they couldn’t afford it and they considered themselves unlucky since all their friends invested and they were left behind. After a few months, the investment went into losses and when all their friends were worrying over their loss, this one was realising how in fact it was their luck that saved then.

Another scenario is where one considers themselves lucky. What I understand they mean is either they get everything or almost everything they ask for or they have placed their entire attention in any one aspect of their life where they feel no matter what happens, but stability & love survives.

If one gets all that they ask for, they must have done something to deserve that. However, in my experience this universe is not only a very magical existence, it is a very intricately created web of so many permutations & combinations that what is happening now & what it will make do tomorrow cannot be envisaged.

For example, one might consider themselves to be very lucky for they got to marry the one they loved and 10 years later they could see the same marriage as bad luck. One might be very lucky to be living in a big mansion but at some point, that same mansion might become their confinement.

As per me, luck is just one’s perspective to be able to see the divine order in anything & everything. In moments one can, they feel lucky. In moments when one can’t, they feel unlucky. Seeing opportunity of a breakthrough in a breakdown is good luck & seeing opportunity of a breakdown in a breakthrough is bad luck. They are two sides of the same coin.

When one is able to develop the ability to believe or trust that in whatever they don’t like right now, there still is divine energy’s presence and this situation will be a perfect piece in the puzzle, they will transcend the concept of luck. Beyond the concept of luck lies faith & surrender. Faith is a choice when made in adverse circumstances, it transforms one’s experience of bad luck into good luck for the choice itself has reversed the direction of flow of energy from bad to good. The results manifest magically so and one feels lucky!

Vinaash Kaale, Vipreet Buddhi

Vinaash Kaale, Vipreet Buddhi

(When destruction awaits, one’s wisdom goes for a toss)

Today while I was watching TV, this scene came up in a mythological series about lord Ganesha that’s live these days. In that there were these two demons Shumbh & NiShumbh who were about to begin a way with “Devi” who represents the Divine Feminine. They were given numerous warnings by her through blood rains, the earth shaking, their feet sticking to the ground etc but in their ego that they are more powerful, they considered all that she was doing as “maaya” or “illusion” created to distract them from the war.

This scene got me thinking that in spite of the fact that she was doing stuff that they had never seen or known was possible, they could not recognise the extent of her power or “shakti”.

Their pretext of why they could not believe that she can actually challenge them, let alone defeat them was only one, that she is a mere “woman”. Though the reason why I am writing this post is not to highlight how oblivious humankind has so far remained to the strength of the feminine, it was a point worth noting. Maybe I will write about this way of thinking of the primitive times & how it was a way of learning, in another post.

I am sure all of us have encountered these instances when we later regretted not doing the right thing or not acting wisely. We often see others acting weird or making choices that very evidently show that they are leading themselves to destruction but they seem to be clueless about the same.

I have realised that when people are faced with anything that brings their deepest darkest fears to the surface, they start to slip into a sub-conscious denial. On one side they are shrinking themselves within, while on the other side they also start projecting strength. The way that strength is then derived is from the denial itself. Usually one will pick some faint belief about the situation or the person that has triggered their fear that “oh he is poor so how can he be of any harm to me”, or “she can’t even handle her own problems, I wonder how she thinks she can challenge me”, or “Oh this society is anyway corrupt so how can anyone catch me”, or “I don’t think anyone will have the courage to raise a finger on me”, or “I can buy anyone & anything so I can get away with anything”. These are just a few examples when people use their denial to create an artificial or illusionary sense of power. What they actually want to overpower is not the other person or their situation but it’s their own fear. There is a little voice that anyway keeps warning them about how they are heading towards doom.

Now had Shumbh & Nishumbh listened to that little voice in their head that was telling them that a woman who can do stuff like this must have something that they are oblivious of, and had they given some credit to the fact that she had already by then killed all of their most courageous men, their wisdom would have prevailed. However, sometimes that wisdom was meant to give way to the denial because one is destined to self-destruction. This destruction is never aimed at the body or person but the destruction was to be of that ego that says “there is nothing more powerful than me”.

It’s not that ego is a bad thing. It has a role to play and the only way to transcend is to first understand & embrace it. However, when one places their ego ahead of their being, then destruction is inevitable. When destruction is at the door, our wisdom forsakes us for it will then wait for the next opportunity for this being to gain more power over the ego, in another time, in another space!

Feminism – A very misplaced concept

Many people ask me for my idea of feminism. My first thought on being asked “what is your message for the women of…” is that why only women?

I believe men & women are created differently not because one was meant to rule & the other was meant to serve, but, solely because there are two faculties of our personality, mind or existence that co-exist and must always be in balance, so it was only natural for them to possess different characteristics. Unlike what a lot of people seem to be unaware of, we all carry both masculine & feminine energies. Our masculine side is that which interacts with the physical world or outside world. Our feminine energy is that which interacts with our inner world. This is the reason why the world has so far functioned such that naturally men took on the roles of taking care of the physical side of things & ensure physical survival, while women were responsible for nurturing and taking care of the subtle aspects like emotions & relationships.

The male or female body was merely a representation of the soul’s choice of staying more focused on the outer or the inner for the sake of its chosen lessons.

Women liberation does not mean that women start fighting men & in turn become what they have hated in men so far. Equality of sexes does not mean the sexes actually start competing with each other for each other’s respective roles. If a task needs more physical strength then if a woman does it, she will naturally be draining her energy to create that extra strength which by virtue of being a man, a male body will naturally possess. Similarly, an activity which needs more emotional awareness then a man doing it can take a toll on his energy while a woman can find it quite effortless for fulfil the respective aspect in the household or anywhere. So instead of trying to drain our energies in the need to replace or punish the other gender, if we recognise the strength of our gender and give its respective position of grace to both the genders, that will mean equality of gender.

Feminism in today’s day & age is based on an assumption that women have been supressed & oppressed for centuries. This is true, however, one has to take into account that from a spiritual perspective, a soul does not have gender. It simply means the same soul who’s experiencing suppression today as a woman could have supressed women as a man in previous lifetimes. You cannot disregard the fact that karma is a very fair & automatic system so whoever is experiencing whatever today, they have manifested that reality for a reason. The way to transform that reality isn’t to deny it or fight it but to understand & accept one’s gender & its truth fully. Then recognise the power of the other gender within so that one strikes an inner balance. It’s only an inner balance of masculine & feminine that can create a balance harmonious life for anyone and the initiation of that happens within.

True Feminism lies in the recognition of the unique contribution of femininity to this planet and valuing that contribution by embracing feminity fully. It's the belief of the feminine in her lack of power that she is considered weak & helpless. When the feminine aspect recognises it's role and how that can only be fulfilled by the qualities of the feminine, it will no more seek to become masculine or compete with the masculine for acceptance of self!

Do you LIKE YOURSELF?

Did you ever realise the difference between loving yourself and liking yourself ?

For most, I bet not. However, think about it now.

What if Susan loves her way of talking because she knows she can manipulate her way around and use her expression to get things done or deal with any kind of situation. She loves herself for being that resourceful. However, she doesn’t like her nature or expression because she is so aware of that manipulation going on there. So it’s like she will have to love herself without liking herself or even worse, she will have to love herself inspite of not liking herself.

Amit on the other hand, loves himself for being funny & loving but does not like his body because he is quite fat. His being funny is primarily derived out of jokes he cracks about himself or on his being fat that make people laugh. He loves himself for being able to use his weakness as his strength. Hence Amit must love himself at the cost of never liking his body.

In both these cases, what they love is not what it appears to be from the outside but rather it’s more than that. What Susan gets from manipulating her expression is control over her situations and her life. The basic need which is getting satisfied is that if I don’t manipulate my way through, I will not be accepted for who I am. So she uses her expression as a tool to sometimes be diplomatic, sometimes sweet talk to people, sometimes gossip aboit one to another, sometimes to highlight someone’s mistake and at other times to prove herself. All this, in her perception brings her acceptance from others and she is able to reach where she feels otherwise she wouldn’t have.

Similarly for Amit, being himself would have attracted him ridicule & insult for being fat. He instead started making fun of himself and started cracking jokes on himself only to appear like a cool, chilled out dude. This was seen as a funny thing by others and they started enjoying his company only because they could be brutally honest with him and they knew he wouldn’t mind because the guy had a good appetite for humour. Amit eventually also wants only acceptance from others for who he is, which he didn’t believe he could get by simply being himself.

Both Susan & Amit are internally suffocated in their own traps. They cannot break free unless they start liking themselves for who they really are. That can only happen when they accept themselves for their truth. If one accepts themselves, they naturally effortlessly are accepted by others. If one is unable to accept themselves, even though they can use othet means to get acceptance but that puts then in a state where they dislike who they are and that takes a toll on them in every way. Slowly they cannot love themselves for anything because their sense of self starts to get replaced with someone who’s projecting what they are not for the sake of others. In other words their sense of self is replaced by fakeness and that builds a very subtle yet deep disconnect in themselves with themselves.

The next time you stand infront of the mirror, ask yourself if you like yourself? Are you true to who you think you are? Or do you love yourself though you’d rather be like your neighbour or your best friend?

SPIRITUAL EGO

I have pondered over this quite a lot that when one says “they are spiritual”, what are they actually implying? Is it that, I am above the rest because I believe I am more connected with God, or myself or the universal consciousness or what?

It’s very common these days to hear these statements saying “I am very positive”, “I only look at the positive side”, “I am spiritual that’s why I have been able to forgive” etc.

What exactly is being Spiritual? I think its living in awareness of one’s ‘Spirit’. Ideally, that should have been our natural state of existence but given that we have created a lot of stuff on the way to becoming who we are today, it is a privilege if we can stay in the awareness of being a Spirit having a human experience. Considering that all of us are ‘Spirits’ nonetheless, maybe the subtle ego that people by patting their backs for their awareness also needs to be brought to awareness.

It is natural for one to feel ‘special’ or ‘different’ when they do something that others look upto. Maybe being aware of self is one such thing which inherently every soul seeks and is a need of the hour on this planet hence it has gained popularity to the extent that doing a few courses and learning a few jargons of the so-called ‘spiritual world’ is good enough for anyone to start commanding more attention from their peers.

Is it true? Do we actually become special if we live in awareness of self? Well, I think the most benefit out of our awareness comes to ourselves. It helps us stay grounded and empowered to deal with our life situations & relationships. It’s not that spiritual people can’t make mistakes or feel negative emotions, but they stand a better chance at handling their experience with grace if they live in awareness of their learning through the adverse experience.

What a spiritual person can give to others is not really for them to decide. The sun did not decide it will give light to earth and not to Pluto. Let what others receive be the prerogative of the receiver. Spirituality is meant to allow one to be themselves without the need to be externally followed or appraised since the sun doesn’t bother if any external light is falling on it or not. If one eventually wants to use the recognition & acknowledgment of others as their light then the whole purpose of being spiritual is really lost.

Spirituality is all about loving self & others. Lets only stay in love & allow love. Seeking more than that is an Ego that blocks the light of the Spirit within!